To my son Nicholas

Just browsing some blogs when I came across this gem http://mysonnicholas.blogspot.com/ It's soooo sweet. Dad writes his son a letter everyday! He's already 2 years old.

Password protected

In order for me to sign on to Blogger in the future I need to open a Google e-mail account. At one point you have to pick a password to access your e-mail account. It was here I decided to have some fun. Google analyzes your passwords and tells you (in their modest opinion) how good they think it is and how well it will protect you. I should mention that they ask for a minimum of 6 digits on your password. First, I put in the easiest password I could think of (123456). To my surprise I was told in bright red letters that password is BAD!! I put in my regular password (I'm not telling you what it is) and was told in mild green that my password was good. Not to be defeated I tried to pick a really hard password so I could get Google's approval. My last attempt (Elephant14.) went as well could be expected. A+! Beautiful, dark green letters told be I had done an excellent job selecting a password. And although it's not the password I went with I felt like Elephant14. and I had a moment. Now, don't get me wrong here. I appreciate all that Google is doing to protect me and my crappy passwords but what's with the colours? I find it a little redundant. I guess they're helping to clarify what they mean for those of us that are too dumb to understand big words like "bad" and "good".

Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day.

Wednesday night losers club

On Wednesday night I drove to Vancouver to participate in a focus group. I am 22. So a focus group is not exactly the "social hot spot" to meet up with friends. Not only that, there were about 10 other people there. Was it secretly a loser convention? Did we all really have nothing better to do? It was a Wednesday night. We weren't working. We should have been out celebrating somewhere or at least watching some good reruns on tv...any alternative to being there. The longer I was there the more I felt like a complete idiot. Everyone else there was at least middle aged. I was a youngin' so I had no excuse. While observing the other members of the Wednesday night losers club I noticed the man sitting next to me was chewing cookies loudly. But it wasn't his fault, they were crunchy cookies. Fergie was playing on the radio. I hate her songs. Another man was wearing very cool looking shoes. I wondered if when he bought them that's what he wanted people to think when they saw them. Of course, if they ever ask me to do this again...I'll go. It's not like I'd have anything better to do on a Wednesday night.

The perfect pizza

I've eaten a lot of pizza in my day. My thighs would even suggest I've eaten too much pizza but that's neither here nor there. After years of research I've discovered the perfect pizza. It starts with a thin, crisp, crust and tomato sauce. The toppings do not include any meat. I didn't do it that way on purpose, it just kind of happened. I love tomatoes, black olives, spinach, and feta cheese. It's really good...that's why it's my favourite. :D

Love...uck!

It's official. I have been bitten by the love bug. It got me into a bit of trouble at work (he's a customer) but was worth it. The downside to being bitten by the love bug...you get infected. It takes over your mind and makes you crazy. You start to mention him in conversations just to talk about him. You daze off and have a far off happy look on your face. Then, you find out the infection has taken a serious turn for the worse because you've started signing your signature but with his last name, not yours. I am indeed infected. Handsdown the best part about being bitten by the love bug is you don't want the cure.

House of Zen

Sit on a chair.
Cross my legs.
Take a deep breath.
Close my eyes.

my house of zen
greens all around
the air is calm
no one below

almost hear the rain
a bird chirping
alone at peace
my house of zen

thoughts of nothing
so scerene
my private place
my mood lowering

a deep breath in
feel it go
at peace with the world
at peace with myself

A car drives past.
A small child yells.
A door slams shut.
It's back to work.

I'm not in a better mood. This is a poem that I wrote awhile back. I thought you might need a pick me up after that last one. Be strong.

Broken hearted

Broken hearted. All alone.
No one calling on the phone.
Friend around try to support.
They all want a new report.
Head hangs low. Try not to cry.
Bite my lip and ask Him why.
Don't want to eat. Not a bite.
So angry. Looking for a fight.
Can't dream. Can't sleep. Just lie awake.
Pray thee Lord my soul to take.
Days flow together. Weeks. Months.
Try not to focus on the bad.
Hard to pretend to be glad.
I see your face. Arms. Lips.
Memory of your hands, my hips.
Wasn't all too long ago.
It's why pain engulfs me so.

I bet you can tell what kind of mood I've been in today. Maybe something happy will happen...soon.

Smile

I feel like such a fool.
A stupid mistake some people would call it.
Learn from it.
But I'm in mourning.
Smile.
The pain has to pass first.
What were we thinking?
How was it supposed to work?
Smile.
Tell me this is not the end.
That we can still be friends.
Hold me in a tight embrace.
Smile.
I expect I'll meet her some day.
She'll look at you the way I do.
Mine is concealed.
Smile.
I'll go home alone.
Lots of time to sit and ponder.
Everything that could of been.
If only I had said something.
Cry.

Ode to Joely

Forever friends I can see.
You light up the firey side of me.
A softball is thrown way off base.
I always see a funny face.

I think you have bad taste in beer.
You drive so fast, without any fear.
Sometimes you let me listen to my song.
Back massages, feel like nothing is wrong.

Arcade games and batting cages.
Haven't been there in ages.
Short shorts and knee high socks.
Your sense of style seems to come in flocks.

Introduced me to the house of smells.
Large stash of all you hair gels.
Going to Bellingham to partake in karaoke.
Went to Starbucks to get a smothee and tea.

Stay late and sleep in

So, I'm a little bitter. Ok, alot bitter. Let's just say I played tennis yesterday and the ball didn't make it. So I wrote this poem. It's a little sketchy but I'm sure you're smart enough to get the gist of what I'm trying to say. Read on.

Stay late and sleep in.
This can wait until the morning.
Your short attention span can't handle my long-term love.

Does your shadow still follow?
Can you sense my rage?
Am I expected to put a full stop on my feelings to make it easier for you?

Friends or foes for me to decide.
Waiting foolishly for the phone to ring.
And the sheet music that I requested is for the song that's haunting me.

The tears will dry.
My heartache will fade.
I'll find someone I can lean on and never be hurt by you again.

I'll miss those kisses.
So glad you're not number seven.
I hope your feelings are more convenient for you in the future.

Vanished

This is a poem I wrote yesterday. I hate it when songs and poetry rhyme but that's just how this one seemed to work out. I don't know how to describe this poem except to say sometimes I just feel like a big phoney. How can you tell people you know that's how you feel?

Have I gone missing?
Is it a dream?
Buried myself so deep
No one can hear me scream

Layers of lies
Put there to protect me
But it's doing the opposite
I long to break free

So different so fake
Every day something new
I can't find myself
How do you expect to?

Misplaced or lost
I've vanished. I'm gone
Shut in and shut up
I don't think I belong

I want love

I think that Mr. Elton John sums it up for me best with his song "I want love". In case you haven't seen the music video, Robert Downey Jr. lip synchs to the lyrics while walking around an old house. I really enjoy the video's simplicity. It gives you more opportunity to sit back and really take it what's being said or in this case sung. I guess I'm just in one of those weird moods today.

I want love, but it's impossible.
A man like me, so irresponsible.
A man like me is dead in places other men feel liberated.

I can't love, shot full of holes.
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold.
Don't feel nothing, just old scars toughening up around my heart.

But I want love, just a different kind.
I want love, won't bring me down.
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in.
I want a love, that don't mean a thing.
That's the love I want, I want love.

I want love on my own terms.
After everything I've ever learned.
Me, I carry too much baggage.
Oh man I've seen so much traffic.

But I want love, just a different kind.
I want love, won't bring me down.
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in.
I want a love, that don't mean a thing.
That's the love I want, I want love.

So bring it on, I've been bruised.
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth.
I'm ready for the rougher stuff.
No sweet romance, I've had enough.
A man like me is dead in places other men feel liberated.

But I want love, just a different kind.
I want love, won't bring me down.
Won't break me up, won't fence me in.
I want a love, that don't mean a thing.
That's the love I want, I want love.

I just want to mean something to someone. But it has to be the right something and the right someone.