My favourite office quotes - the alliance

All of these quotes are from "the alliance". (Season 1 - Episode 4)

"I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure in saying "You're fired"...I think if I had a catch phrase it would be "You're hired and you can work here as long as you'd like" but that's unrealistic so..." -Michael Scott
"Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than official memos. Which puts me at disadvantage because I bring my own water to work." -Dwight
"What's the scuttlebutt?" -Dwight
"I think green is kind of whorish." -Angela
"This was tough. I suggested we flip a coin but Anglea said she doesn't like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her." -Pam
"Did you get your tickets...to the gun show?" -Dwight
"Meredith I heard you're turning 46 but come on, you're an accountant. Just fudge the numbers." -Jim
"I'm a dear hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are at vision." -Dwight
"Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No, frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me." -Dwight
"Money isn't the key to happyness Jim. Do you know what is? Joy." -Michael
"Meredith, good news. You're not really a year older because you work here where time stands still." -Stanley
"Meredith, let's hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age." -Michael

If you haven't ever seen this show I suggest you watch it. It's pretty much the best show ever.